{"product_id":"dead-inside-still-on-time","title":"Funny Work Burnout Long Sleeve | \"Dead Inside, Still On Time\"","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou're not late. You're not flaky. You're just barely vertical, mainlining caffeine, running on spite — and somehow always on time. This \u003cstrong\u003efunny work burnout long sleeve shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the chronically running-on-fumes, the alarm-snoozing professionals, and anyone whose punctuality is fueled entirely by trauma.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Sarcastic Long Sleeve for People Who Show Up Anyway\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSoft hooded long sleeve in moody triblend colors — built for early mornings, longer afternoons, and the silent scream during your 11 AM Zoom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHooded unisex fit\u003c\/strong\u003e — 29 size\/color combos, sizes XS–2XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTriblend fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e — soft, breathable, perfect for layering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrack-proof front print\u003c\/strong\u003e — survives more wash cycles than your motivation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade-to-order, on-demand\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFree US shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e on every order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWear It To\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 8 AM standup. The 8 PM \"quick call.\" The Sunday Scaries that start Saturday at 4. Or any week with five working days.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003efunny work gift\u003c\/strong\u003e that says everything HR wishes you wouldn't — perfect for the friend who's \"fine, just tired\" since 2019, or the coworker whose camera is always strategically off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e before your next calendar invite.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"PureSarcasm","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Charcoal-Black Triblend","offer_id":51305374089518,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-18660","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Charcoal-Black Triblend","offer_id":51580718055726,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-18661","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Charcoal-Black Triblend","offer_id":51580718088494,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-18662","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Charcoal-Black Triblend","offer_id":51580718121262,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-18663","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Charcoal-Black Triblend","offer_id":51580718154030,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-18664","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Charcoal-Black Triblend","offer_id":51580718186798,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-18665","price":43.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":51580718219566,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17160","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":51580718252334,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17172","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":51580718285102,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17178","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":51580718317870,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17184","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":51580718350638,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17190","price":43.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Grey Triblend","offer_id":51580718383406,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17168","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Grey Triblend","offer_id":51580718416174,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17161","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Grey Triblend","offer_id":51580718448942,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17173","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Grey Triblend","offer_id":51580718481710,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17179","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey Triblend","offer_id":51580718514478,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17185","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Grey Triblend","offer_id":51580718547246,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17191","price":43.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Navy","offer_id":51580718580014,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17170","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Navy","offer_id":51580718612782,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17162","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Navy","offer_id":51580718645550,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17174","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Navy","offer_id":51580718678318,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17180","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Navy","offer_id":51580718711086,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17186","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Navy","offer_id":51580718743854,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17192","price":43.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather True Royal","offer_id":51580718776622,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17167","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather True Royal","offer_id":51580718809390,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17165","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather True Royal","offer_id":51580718842158,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17176","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather True Royal","offer_id":51580718874926,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17182","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather True Royal","offer_id":51580718907694,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17188","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather True Royal","offer_id":51580718940462,"sku":"midi8gx51o83wrxbdbh-17194","price":43.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0936\/7892\/8174\/files\/unisex-hooded-long-sleeve-tee-black-front-695c75ad9ff2f.jpg?v=1767667125","url":"https:\/\/www.puresarcasm.com\/products\/dead-inside-still-on-time","provider":"PureSarcasm","version":"1.0","type":"link"}