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Emotionally Funded by Regret - Sarcastic Beanie in Print Beanie White - Front View | Sarcastic Beanie | PureSarcasm

Emotionally Funded by Regret - Sarcastic Beanie

$33.00 USD

My bank account is empty, but my storage unit of "poor life choices" is currently overflowing. This PureSarcasm knit beanie is designed for anyone whose personality is 10% caffeine and 90% "I really shouldn’t have said that." Crafted from a premium, thick-knit blend that’s perfect for insulating your brain against the cold realization of your own past actions, this beanie is the ultimate comfort for the chronic over-thinker. Whether you’re mourning a 2:00 AM text or a decade-long career choice, wear this hat as a stylish badge of your accumulated wisdom—even if that wisdom came at a price you can’t afford. One size fits most; hindsight sold separately.

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⏰ Made to Order - Ships in 1-4 Days

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Shipping & Delivery

Made to order. Production: 1–4 business days. Free US shipping. Tracking included.

Returns & Exchanges

Not happy? Contact us within 30 days. We’ll make it right.

Size Guide

Not sure about your size? Check our size guide for detailed measurements. When in doubt, size up for a relaxed fit.

Materials & Care

Premium quality materials built to last. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on print.

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Buy 2+ 10% off
Buy 3+ 15% off