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Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in french navy, front view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in french navy, front view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in french navy, back view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in organic black, front view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in organic black, back view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in heather grey, front view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in heather grey, back view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in desert dust, front view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in desert dust, back view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in india ink grey, front view
  • Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash sarcastic hoodie - anxiety, not cash - sarcastic in india ink grey, back view
Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash - Sarcastic Hoodie

Paid in Anxiety, Not Cash - Sarcastic Hoodie

$63.00 USD
Shipping's free. You're welcome.

I've got a 401(k) full of "what-ifs," a comprehensive dental plan for my stress-grinding, and a salary that consists entirely of urgent Slack notifications. This PureSarcasm premium hoodie is for the person who is rich in cortisol but poor in actual currency. Crafted from a heavyweight, ultra-soft cotton-fleece blend—thick enough to dampen the sound of your own internal screaming—this hoodie features a relaxed fit and a "stress-grip" kangaroo pocket perfect for clutching your phone while you wait for the next "asap" request. Whether you're being compensated in "exposure," "valuable experience," or just pure, unadulterated panic, wear this to let the world know: I'm not working for the money; I'm working for the impending sense of doom.
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⏰ Made to Order - Ships in 1-4 Days

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Shipping & Delivery

Made to order. Production: 1–4 business days. Free US shipping. Tracking included.
Returns & Exchanges

Not happy? Contact us within 30 days. We’ll make it right.
Size Guide

Not sure about your size? Check our size guide for detailed measurements. When in doubt, size up for a relaxed fit.
Materials & Care

Premium quality materials built to last. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on print.

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