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Running on Regret & Wi-Fi - Sarcastic Long Sleeve Shirt
$34.00 USD
My body is 70% water, but my spirit is 100% powered by a shaky 5G signal and the haunting memories of every poor life choice I’ve made since 2012. This PureSarcasm premium long sleeve is for the modern hermit who only leaves the house when the router needs a reset. Crafted from a lightweight, breathable combed cotton—perfect for the fluctuating body temperatures of someone experiencing simultaneous social anxiety and high-speed buffering—this shirt features cuffed sleeves to keep them out of your keyboard-adjacent snacks. Whether you’re doom-scrolling at 3:00 AM or "working from home" in a state of digital dependency, wear this to let the world know: If the signal drops or the memories kick in, I am effectively out of commission.
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⏰ Made to Order - Ships in 1-4 Days
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Shipping & Delivery
Made to order. Production: 1–4 business days. Free US shipping. Tracking included.
Returns & Exchanges
Not happy? Contact us within 30 days. We’ll make it right.
Size Guide
Not sure about your size? Check our size guide for detailed measurements. When in doubt, size up for a relaxed fit.
Materials & Care
Premium quality materials built to last. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on print.
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