Mood: Legally Awake - Sarcastic Socks

I have fulfilled the technical requirements of "being alive," but I’m going to need you to lower your expectations for everything else. These PureSarcasm crew socks are designed for the person who treats their morning alarm like a summons to court—they'll show up, but they won't be happy about it. Featuring a plush, cushioned sole that provides more support than your current will to live, and a breathable knit to keep you cool while you buffer, these socks are the perfect uniform for the "just barely" functioning adult. You’re vertical, your eyes are open, and you’re technically breathing; according to the law, that’s plenty.